Dear Tech Support...

Just some thoughts I have had from dealing with tech support over the past several years. This is mostly dealing with Dell, Windows, or HP, Enjoy!

Dear Tech Support,
1. LEARN SOME FREAKING MANNERS!!!!!!!!
You do not tell somebody that they should have had their entire hard drive backed up!!!! Do you know how much external hard drives are? Seriously, not all of us can afford to randomly buy three external hard drives! Also do not tell somebody that they should have backed up their hard drive, AFTER THE ENTIRE OPERATING SYSTEM HAS CRASHED!!!!! (No, Really I should have backed up my hard drive? Well now I can't do a single freaking thing because windows crashed!!!!!!!!!!

2. GET RID OF THE ANNOYING VOICE MENUS!!!!!!!
I am sorry, but I do not want to listen to somebody rattle off a bunch of options that I have no use for. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO A PERSON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!! I do not have any idea what my service code is or what kind of computer I have sometimes and don't you dare tell me to go online and check out when MY COMPUTER HAS CRASHED!!!! Seriously how annoying are these voice menus? Where is the option to talk to a HUMAN BEING!!??!

3. DO NOT HAVE PEOPLE WHO SPEAK WITH THICK FOREIGN ACCENTS HAVE NAMES LIKE BOB!
Really HP? REally? Bob? I cannot understand a single word that "bob" is saying. If I have to ask "Bob" to repeat everything three times than maybe "Bob" should lose his accent.

4. IF I SAY THAT I HAVE NO IDEA...THEN I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!
No, I do not have any Idea how the operating system crashed, I just know that I CANNOT DO A SINGLE THING WHATSOEVER ON THE MACHINE!!!!!! (How many times do I have to tell them that?) No I do not have any idea what make and model my machine is...and guess what I have no idea on how to find that out.

5. DO NOT EVER TELL ME THAT I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR COMPUTERS
HP, if I am telling you that everything on the computer is crashing and going out very slowly, why on earth do you think I would want to buy another HP computer????? I do not care if you have special going on right now where you can get one for $400. Based on my personal experience, I HATE YOUR COMPUTERS!!!!! Make them better please? Thank you.

6. IF YOU PROMISE TO SEND OUT SHIPPING INFORMATION, THEN DO SO
Dell, dell, dell, dell. You promised that you would send out our shipping information, the day that the item shipped? So why did I have an email from you saying that my computer was being shipped, even though it was already here!??! Not COOL! Why did I have to call you to figure out when and where my other item had shipped only to be transferred to five other people in one phone call???? WHY????? I Just want to know where it is!!!!!

7. PLEASE BE COURTEOUS TO YOUR CUSTOMERS!!!!
Kind of goes along with the first one about manners, but why do you think so many people hate you? You are not courteous to us. You just sit there and sigh and ask what our problem is before you try and make us buy some ridiculous stupid product...even though the problem can be really simple. Treat us nicely and we will treat you nicely.

8. PLACE YOURSELF IN OUR SHOES!!!!!
Seriously what would you do if the one thing that you use were to suddenly stop working? Most people use their computers for everything!!!!! From school work to relaxing, our computers never leave our side!!!!! So when it stops working and we freak out, understand it is because that is the one machine that holds EVERYTHING that we need for school on it and that we are going to be freaking out about how to fix it.

9. GIVE US SIMPLE ANSWERS, NONE OF THAT TECHY BS!!!
I am not a computer science major, nor do I ever want to become one. So when I ask you for a solution to a problem...please give me a simple answer. I do not want to have to consult a dictionary to know what you are talking about. Just say something that everybody will know what you are talking about, not operating systems, not routers, not isp addresses. MAKE IT SIMPLE!!!!!

10. IS MY NAME REALLY THAT HARD TO SPELL THAT YOU HAVE TO USE THE MILITARY ALPHABET TO SPELL IT?
I spell my name the way that I spell my name, I do not want to have to use another alphabet just to spell my first and last name for you over the phone. I do not even use the military alphabet whatsoever, if I say an example just follow it and repeat after me, do not make me learn another alphabet and therefore make me hate you for the rest of the phone call and tell your supervisor that you were the worst agent I have ever seen.

Sincerely,
Your Loyal Customers.